Fae Critical State

Description

EXCERPT CHAPTER 1

                                                         To Ro, with love.

SATURDAY

Pathological pursuit

I leave biting. Aotearoa. Winter coldness. Seeking July. Warmth. Bring it on. Blissful. Tropical. Ten days away. From Antarctica. Chill. Being pragmatic. Pleasure seeker. I have shouted myself. Single carefree. Life-break. In the heavenly. Cook’s. Our currency. Same.

I fly over. Pacific Ocean. Air New Zealand. Economy class. Ticket. Costing high-season. Fortune. For me. Over-priced air travel. At this time of year. Is pure. Exploitation. Riding winter blues. Christmas time. I can understand. All that celebrating. Is worth skimming. Scamming.

I ask myself. What is driving? This foolish travel idea. Island romance. Fanciful whim. The need. To get rapidly. Laid. Whatever. I am on. Love luck. Mission.

I booked holiday. Anticipating. Body blaze action. Wanting to exhibit. Extreme exuberance. Irrational behaviour. Disrupting my present. Sorry life. Going skyward. Just to play. Panky. My unsettled state. Not typical. Questioning. Justifying. Why I should be. Contemplating. Such an expensive. High risk. Social activity. Far from home. Privileged. I am not destitute.

How? Self-made. Modest fortune. Solid state. Ground money. Rock minerals. Metals. Gem stones. I am my own. Executive. I manage myself. Always have. Socially. Economically. It makes sense. Even for someone asset. Loaded like me. To travel third class. In the back. Tail end. Business class has advantages. But this is not. Business trip. My smart earned money. Is not going to pay. The wage of some. High flyer. CEO. Or contribute. To generous company dividends. Personally. I don’t have volatile liquid. Gas. Fossil fuel shares. Anything to do with. Inflammables. Tourism. Adrenalin. Based industry. Can go. Kapok. Any minute. Wily. Anything mechanical. To do with air. Water. Fire. I know to financially. Avoid. Unstable earth elements. Avoid anything that grows. Particularly pine. Care free. Nature spirits. Always have the last. Laugh.

This week. I am leisure-roving. Package deal. Passenger. Without inflight meal. Option. I don’t waste. Money. On invisible things. Comfort. Or nonessential. Filler food.

My existence. Up in airspace. Mercifully. Linked. Aero dynamically. Not that I am. Scientifically. Physics know-all. But I know a thing. Or three. In plainer English. Uplift.

I prefer. Simple words. Not complex words. Saying the same thing. I’m not fussed. Grammatically. Spelling. Sentence length. I like getting across. Bullet points. Precise meaning.

This is nothing. New. Apparently. I have always been. This way. Short. Curt. Blunt. Anti-lyrical. It suits me well. Let’s me get on. With what is. Important. Not that I am. Thick. Or lazy. Or purist. Average. Hypocritically. Long economic words. To me are purple prose. Ornate. Ultimate quintillion. Lingo about profit. Especially acquisition. Appeal. I like their wealth. Positivity. Ricocheting effect. On my well-being. Libido. I am attracted. To well-paid. Mathematicians. Having money. Multiple orgasm. Equates. Satisfaction. Quadrillion would be ideal. Not like. Crushes.

So who secretly am I?

Morgan L. Fae. Hybrid. Descendent. Irish faerydom. Cork. Hollow hills. Ex-Pagan.

Building biography. Ditching old English. For new. Un-waste wordy. Text talker. Filler words such as ‘and’. Small fry words. For example. ‘A’. Usually unnecessary. Lots of words. Demanding. Linking. Abrasive words. Wasting breath. Energy. Apart from ‘or’. I’m usually. Thinker. Not an epic talker. Unless riled. Okay. So not that good. At listening. Sometimes. I try to act. Interested in. Mundane things. Weather updates. Proud parenting. Anecdotes. Menu planning. Not anti-social. Just socially distant. Probably unlikeable.

Contrarily. For many years. Singular. Number language. Has fascinated me. Not restricted alphabet. Banged up. Long winded. Sentences. With mixed speech sounds. Pouty vowels. Spelling snobs. I prefer numerical. Equations. Answerable. Mathematically. Net worth. Mantra. Value for money. Favourite saying.

Facts.

No ifs. Buts. Maybes. Unless it is estimate models. For monetary forecast. Or unofficial. Pandemic death rates. From nasty. Virus. Bacteria. Fungi.

Yes. I am. Bit phobic. Death fear. Burning. In fever. Hell fire. Or drowning. In killer microbial pool. Or struck down. Bankrupted. Broken hearted.

Dire thoughts. Prevail. Overweight plane. Stalls. Plummeting. Due to gravity. With no engine. Power. Gliding ability. Kills. My already shaky. Equilibrium. Lack of personal control. Upholding suspension. Disconcerting. I want to grab. Throttle. Take charge. Override autopilot. Check. Aviation fuel gauge. Normally I am. Boss. It is hard. Difficult handing over. My life care. To people. In power uniforms. Negative spiral.

To counter potential. Morbidity. Overlaid. With misconceived. Hunger. I tipple. My full plastic wine glass. With practiced lip. Tongue sensitivity. I let fruity bitter. Taste buds. Shock. Zealot. If I am patient. We will become in tune. Alcohol and I. Coupled. Perpetual motion. Where I am. In regard to height above. Sea level. Will become. Irrelevant.

I am seated. Next to the window. I wipe down. Touchable areas. Disinfectant wipe.

‘Seriously.’

The young. Banal woman. Next to me. Face scorns. I’ve met her sort. Before. Opinionated. She knows nothing about. Mathematical. Models. Predictions. Fatal bugs. Copulating.

‘Airline seats. Harbour infectious disease. Ask Naomi.’

I place. Riddled cloth. Into the empty. Sick bag. Zoonotic. Scourges. Hunting humans. Purge. I have no intention. Reading inflight advertisements. Promo. File pouch. Contaminant.

I check. Blind. Works. It does. Adjusting. Overhead. Cold blasted air. Shooting. Sideways. Face whacked. Not surprisingly. I don’t small talk. With my unfriendly. Flighty neighbour. She looks away. When our eyes meet. My glazed eyes. Glare. Perceived. Crazy eyes. Presumably.  Because there are yellow flecks. Around iris. Golden hazel. Reality. I genetically inherited. Tinge. From my immoral. Immortal father. His Satanist eyes. Were described. By my maternal grandmother. As shifty…….