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By William Van Zyl
Published 5 June 2023
Should you approach AI (ChatGPT) seeking an evaluation of your written work and requesting feedback, what would this reading machine offer in response? Curiosity piqued, would you like to discover what lies in store? I will not waste any time; here is my question and the response below. I have kept it short and sweet. Below is 1 paragraph of my writing, and directly below it is the response of the ‘machine.’ Could it use its intelligence and machine experience to evaluate my writing? Let’s find out.
Table of Contents
My question to AI (ChatGPT) regarding my writing:
Can you mark and comment on this short paragraph? Type up some feedback, please. Here is part of the essay.
The title of one of Roy Peter Clark’s short chapters is Tool #14: ‘Get the Name of the Dog.’ I love this chapter; it resonates with me.
In short, when writing, always get the dog’s name (the details, the names, the place, a short story behind the story, and more). Don’t only focus on what happened; go deeper.
Clark states that ‘the name of the dog’ is essential because it makes the story “real.” It hooks the reader in. You may ask why. I’ll answer. The reader wants to relate to the story. I believe that people reading a story – for example, a story about a dog – would be more interested in facts and true stories about the dog rather than the news about what happened to the dog or the person behind it. The story in the introduction is entirely true and accurate. Jason went missing in the Alberton area, Johannesburg, South Africa, in 1997. He also died of poisoning when he was 6 years old. When someone reports a story, the type of questions the reporter ask is crucial. Vague questions allow essential information to be lost. It is the small details like what is the dog’s name; where did it happen; tell me about the personality of the dog; do you have any significant stories on the dog; how old is the dog; what is his favourite food; and more, that is important.
Here is ChatGPT’s response and feedback (as on 4 June 2023):
Here is the feedback on the paragraph you provided:
Overall, the paragraph effectively discusses the importance of including specific details and the “name of the dog” when writing a story. It highlights the significance of providing relevant information to make the story more relatable and engaging for readers. Here are some specific comments on the paragraph:
- Structure and coherence: The paragraph is well-structured and maintains a clear focus on the importance of details in storytelling. The writer introduces the concept of getting the dog’s name and then explains why it is crucial.
- Use of evidence and examples: The paragraph could benefit from more specific examples or evidence to support the claims made. For instance, instead of stating that “people reading a story… would be more interested in facts and true stories about the dog,” it would be helpful to provide a specific example or reference a study to strengthen the argument.
- Clarity and conciseness: The paragraph is generally clear, but a few sentences could be rephrased or clarified to enhance understanding. For example, the sentence “The story in the introduction is fully true” could be rewritten to clarify which story is being referred to and why its truthfulness is relevant to the discussion.
- Transition and flow: The paragraph transitions smoothly between ideas, progressing from details’ importance to questions’ role in reporting a story. This contributes to the overall coherence and logical flow of the paragraph.
- Grammar and punctuation: The paragraph demonstrates good grammatical structure and punctuation. However, it would be beneficial to revise the sentence “It is the small details like what is the dog’s name…” to “The small details, such as the dog’s name, where it happened, the personality of the dog, significant stories, age, favourite food, and more, are important.” This revision clarifies the list of details and improves the sentence’s structure.
Overall, the paragraph effectively conveys the message about the significance of including specific details in storytelling, but it could be strengthened with additional evidence and examples to support the claims made. Additionally, minor revisions can enhance clarity and coherence.
What do you think of the feedback provided? I am impressed with the intelligent responses of ChatGPT and the ability of the machine to interpret and evaluate the paragraph. The suggestion to rephrase some of the sentences – similar to the suggestions of Grammarly (paid version) and Quillbot – is really good. The ability of the machine to list and number its responses – including a short ‘heading’ is fantastic! An excellent tool for students and teachers. Imagine the time that could be saved if students could consult Chat GPT – and other AI platforms – to mark, evaluate, and provide feedback. Teachers would have more time available to teach. The quality of high school and tertiary students’ work could dramatically improve if they use Grammarly or Quillbot software and then ask AI to read through it and provide feedback. I still have to learn which words to use when asking AI for feedback on writing.
Important phrases & keywords are:
- Please provide a critical evaluation.
- Please provide feedback.
- Please provide suggestions regarding my writing.
- Please provide feedback regarding the content (more resources and related knowledge).
- Please rewrite or rephrase the paragraph for me.
I could not resist asking Chat GPT to rephrase the same paragraph. Here is the response of ChatGPT:
Here’s a revised version of the paragraph by ChatGPT:
One of Clark’s short chapters titled Tool #14: ‘Get the Name of the Dog’ deeply resonates with me. It emphasizes the importance of going beyond surface-level storytelling and delving into the details—the names, places, and the stories behind the story. It’s not just about recounting events; it’s about making the story come alive. Clark asserts that ‘the name of the dog’ is essential because it adds a sense of realism that captivates the reader. So, why does this matter? Readers want to connect with the story on a personal level. When reading a tale, particularly about a dog, people are more intrigued by factual and authentic stories about the dog itself rather than just the events surrounding it or the individuals involved. In the introductory story, the account of Jason’s disappearance in the Alberton area of Johannesburg, South Africa, in 1997, and his tragic death due to poisoning at the age of 6 are entirely true.
When it comes to reporting a story, the questions asked by the reporter play a crucial role. Vague inquiries can result in the loss of significant information. Therefore, it is the small details such as the dog’s name, the location of the incident, the dog’s personality, notable anecdotes about the dog, its age, favourite food, and more that hold importance.
Here is my original paragraph again. Compare the two:
The title of one of Roy Peter Clark’s short chapters is Tool #14: ‘Get the Name of the Dog.’ I love this chapter; it resonates with me.
In short, when writing, always get the dog’s name (the details, the names, the place, a short story behind the story, and more). Don’t only focus on what happened; go deeper.
Clark states that ‘the name of the dog’ is essential because it makes the story “real.” It hooks the reader in. You may ask why. I’ll answer. The reader wants to relate to the story. I believe that people reading a story – for example, a story about a dog – would be more interested in facts and true stories about the dog rather than the news about what happened to the dog or the person behind it. The story in the introduction is entirely true and accurate. Jason went missing in the Alberton area, Johannesburg, South Africa, in 1997. He also died of poisoning when he was 6 years old. When someone reports a story, the type of questions the reporter ask is crucial. Vague questions allow essential information to be lost. It is the small details like what is the dog’s name; where did it happen; tell me about the personality of the dog; do you have any significant stories on the dog; how old is the dog; what is his favourite food; and more, that is important.
My evaluation of the 2 paragraphs – comparing and contrasting my writing with AI’s rephrasing of the same paragraph.
The writing of AI is accurate and very strong summative. However, I prefer reading my own writing because the style is more personal. I have used Helperbird (a reader extension for Google Docs) to read the two paragraphs to me. I listened intently to the two paragraphs read by the machine voice. It is absolutely clear that the personality of my paragraph sings. The paragraph of ChatGPT is excellent; however, it lacks that personal touch.
So, I have changed my question to Chat GPT. I focused on the words creative writing.
QUESTION to ChatGPT: Creatively rephrase this paragraph for me? Focus on creative writing, please?
Here is ChatGPT’s stunning response:
In the enchanting realm of Clark’s literary universe, there exists a chapter called Tool #14: ‘Get the Name of the Dog.’ It is a chapter that has nestled deep within the recesses of my heart, resonating with a harmonious chord of understanding. Within its pages, a sage advice echoes: when we embark upon the wondrous journey of writing, let us not merely graze the surface of storytelling. No, dear writer, immerse yourself in the captivating depths, for it is there that the magic resides.
Clark, the guardian of wisdom, imparts upon us a sacred truth—the ‘name of the dog’ is no mere triviality; it is the very essence that breathes life into a story, weaving an enchanting tapestry of authenticity. With this luminous thread, the tale ensnares the reader’s imagination, evoking an unwavering connection. But why, you may ask, does this dance of words hold such power? Ah, let me illuminate your query. Within the reader’s heart lies an unyielding desire to intertwine their own story with that which they devour.
In the realm of storytelling, as we unfurl a narrative, it is not the mere chronicle of events that enthralls but rather the bountiful treasury of factual anecdotes and true tales that enrapture the reader’s spirit. Their hunger is not satiated by the ephemeral news of what transpired, nor the enigma of the individuals who roam the stage. No, it is the luminosity of the dog’s tale that beckons their curiosity.
Gaze upon the introductory story, a prism of truth casting shards of light upon the fabric of our understanding. Witness the tale of Jason, who vanished amidst the sprawling embrace of the Alberton area in Johannesburg, South Africa, back in 1997. Alas, fate dealt him a tragic hand, for at the tender age of six, he succumbed to a malevolent poison. These are the truths that linger in the air, lending authenticity to the written word.
When the storyteller takes the stage, bearing the mantle of a reporter, the questions they pose hold within them the key to revelation. Beware, for vague inquiries possess the uncanny ability to cloak and conceal the treasures of knowledge. It is in the tapestry of minute details that the story unveils its true brilliance. What name dances upon the dog’s tongue? Where did the symphony of events unfold? Pray, regale me with the dog’s vibrant personality. Unearth for me the jewels of significant stories, and reveal the age-old riddle of the dog’s years. Does the dog feast upon a favoured delicacy, or is there a palette of flavours that tantalize its senses? Ah, it is within these intricacies that the heart of the tale beats, beckoning forth the truth.
My comment on the creative writing and rephrasing effort of AI.
What can I say, stunning creative rephrasing by ChatGPT! Well done Mr Machine or Mrs Machine. It means that the keywords we use in our questions and how we structure them are crucial.
By the way ChatGPT: Are you male or female?
Answer from ChatGPT: As an AI language model, I don’t have a gender. I am a machine learning model developed by OpenAI, designed to assist and provide information to the best of my abilities.
Interested to read the full article on ‘Get the Name of the Dog? Here is the link:
Copyright © 2023 by William Van Zyl
Could AI (ChatGPT) mark and comment on my writing work? Could the ‘Machine’ provide critical feedback?
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without the publisher’s permission, except for using brief quotations in a book review.
Published by Five House Publishing (New Zealand)
First Publishing, June 2023
More eBooks and articles are available at https://fivehousepublishing.com/
More about the author at http://williamvanzyl.com/
